


First Impressions

by suffolkgirl



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 10:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24469264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suffolkgirl/pseuds/suffolkgirl
Summary: Zak takes Kara home to spend Winter Solstice with his family, and complications arise.
Relationships: Lee "Apollo" Adama/Kara "Starbuck" Thrace, Zak Adama/Kara "Starbuck" Thrace
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This was written before Season 3 aired, when we got more canon backstory about Lee and Kara's mothers. So in this fic Carolanne Adama does not have an alcohol problem, and the details about Kara's childhood diverge from the later canon.

**Chapter One**

_ What the hell I am doing? _ thought Kara, as Zak pulled up outside his mother’s house.

She still wasn’t sure how he had talked her into this. Not just into meeting his family, but into spending the whole Winter Solstice week with them.

She’d flat out refused when he first brought it up. He hadn’t argued with her. He never did. Just made throwaway comments over the next few weeks about how nice it would have been to have her there and how much he would have liked to be with her over Solstice. And then looked at her with that damn wistful expression in his eyes that always made her feel like she’d kicked a puppy.

So she’d given in. To make him happy. If she felt secretly relieved that she wasn’t going to have to spend another Solstice alone at the Academy with a bottle of ambrosia, trying to pretend she didn’t care, it was her own business.

But there was still the whole hurdle of meeting his family.

Kara Thrace wasn’t the type of girl that guys took home to meet their mothers. She was the type of girl that mothers warned their sons away from.

Not that the issue had ever come up before. None of her previous boyfriends had lasted beyond a few months before she managed to piss them off or push them away. Certainly not long enough to get to the meeting the family stage.

She still wasn’t sure how Zak had managed to stick around so long. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t given him opportunities to leave, or reasons. But it seemed whatever she did, however she screwed up, he stayed put. Still loved her.

It warmed her to the core, but it also scared the crap out of her.

Almost as much as the idea of meeting his family scared her. Strangely, it wasn’t his father, the battlestar commander, whom most people would think the most intimidating, that worried her. He was in the military, after all – she was sure she could find things to talk to him about. Plus they’d only be visiting him for the day, in the apartment he kept in Caprica City.

No, she was more worried about his mother, with whom they would be staying the whole week. What if she expected Kara to help her in the kitchen or wanted to take her shopping? She shuddered at the very idea.

Then there was the older brother, Lee, the one Zak talked about the most. He alternated between slightly envious pride in his brother’s achievements – first in his class at Academy, on the fast track in War College – and affectionate mockery: “He was the only cadet in the history of the academy who graduated with a 100 per cent attendance record and was still an ambrosia virgin.”

He sounded like a stuck-up bore to Kara – the kind of man who would take one look at her and decide that she was totally unfit to be with his baby brother. And that worried her, because underneath all the jokes and the stories, she could tell that Lee was the most important person in Zak’s world, and his approval counted, perhaps even more so than that of their parents.

Kara could tell that this week was not going to go well.

\-------------

Her first impressions, however, were better than she had expected. The house and Carolanne Adama were both warm and welcoming.

“Call me Carolanne, do. Mrs Adama makes me feel about a hundred.”

Carolanne didn’t look much like her younger son, but she had the same easy-going manners.

“I’m pleased to finally meet you, Kara,” she said. “I would say that I’d heard so much about you, but that would be a lie.” She shot a mischievous glance at Zak. “My sons like to keep me in the dark about their love lives as far as possible.”

Zak grinned at her. “And I’m sure you kept Gran posted on every detail when you were dating.”

“Of course,” said his mother blandly. She ushered them into the living room. “I expect you’re both hungry after that long trip. I thought we’d have a quick bowl of pasta, if that suits?”

Kara opened her mouth to agree – she was starving – but Zak elbowed her before she could say anything.

“I don’t know, Mum...we had a snack at the spaceport-”

Two hours ago. Kara stared at him, confused.

Carolanne started to laugh. “Relax, Zak, I didn’t make it myself.”

“Are you sure?”

“Quite sure. It’s fresh from the supermarket.” Her mouth curved. “I’ll show you the packet if you want.”

“No, no, I trust you.” Zak dropped onto the sofa.

Carolanne turned to Kara. “As you may have gathered, cooking is not my strong point.”

Kara smiled tentatively. “Mine neither.”

“A girl after my own heart. So, would you like some pasta?”

Kara nodded, and sat down next to Zak. Somehow this casual teasing between mother and son was not quite what she had expected – but then she didn’t know what she had expected. She didn’t really know enough about proper families to expect anything.

“I’m just glad you discovered microwaved meals,” Zak called to his mother as she moved around in the kitchen. “Otherwise I would have wasted away before I was ten.”

“Wasted away? On the amount of junk food you used to eat?” Carolanne snorted. “I don’t think so.”

“So does this mean that we’re going out for Solstice dinner?” Kara joked.

Zak took her hand. “No, we’re staying in. Mum’s cooking her speciality...microwaved turkey.”

Carolanne appeared in the doorway to wave a fork at him threateningly. “You should count your lucky stars that Lee didn’t decide to stay on Aerilon for Solstice.”

“He wouldn’t dare. He knows we’d starve without him.”

“So your brother’s the cook in this household?” Kara was surprised. It didn’t seem to fit with what Zak had said about him.

Zak nodded. “He went on a healthy eating kick when he was fifteen and decided it was his duty to save me and Mum from the calorific horrors of ready meals and junk food. He taught himself to cook and we’ve kept him chained to the stove ever since.”

“Well, except when I let him out to go to Fleet Academy.” Carolanne re-appeared in the doorway. “Pasta’s ready. I’ll bring it in here, it’s more comfortable than sitting round the table.”

Kara enjoyed the pasta, despite the fierce concentration needed to make sure she didn’t spill any on the sofa or the carpet. Not that Zak seemed bothered.

“Speaking of Lee,” said Zak, looking at his watch, “we’d better go to pick him up from the spaceport in an hour or so. He told me he was getting in at two, and there’s no point him spending money on a taxi when I’ve rented a car.”

\----------------

They chatted for an hour after finishing the meal, and it was unexpectedly relaxed. The combination of a long flight, a full stomach and a comfy chair began to catch up with Kara, and her eyes drifted closed a few times.

“Someone’s had a long day,” said Carolanne softly, and Kara straightened with embarrassment. She didn’t want Zak’s mother to think her rude.

“I’m sorry, Mrs Ada...Carolanne. It’s just been a hectic week. The usual end of term chaos.”

“You know, you don’t have to come down to the spaceport to meet Lee,” said Zak. “You can always stay here, have a quick nap while we’re out.”

Gods, that was tempting. Not just the nap but the chance to avoid meeting the scary older brother for a few more hours. Plus, it would give the three Adamas some time on their own without her hanging around.

“That’s sounds like a good idea.” She looked at Zak uncertainly. “You’re sure your brother won’t mind?”

Zak looked puzzled. “Of course not. Why would he?” He laughed. “He’s not so important he needs some kind of reception, Kara. He’s lucky that Mum and I are deigning to meet him in person.”

So it was settled, and Zak and Carolanne headed off on their own.

“I’ve put you in the spare room, Kara, if you want to lie down,” said Carolanne kindly. “Top of the stairs, second room on the left. There are towels on the bed if you want to freshen up.”

“Thanks,” said Kara awkwardly, though she liked Carolanne’s manner. Taking care of her guest without fussing over it.

Left alone, she took a deep breath. First hurdle cleared, and it had been easier than she had hoped. Carolanne wasn’t half as intimidating as she had expected. Maybe the rest of the family would follow suit.

_ Yeah right _ , she thought with a wry smile. She never got that lucky.

She entertained herself by wandering around the house. It wasn’t large, but not so small that the people who lived there would be constantly falling over each other. It had a nice feel to it, as well. Kara had seen houses that were cluttered and chaotic, and houses that were so painfully neat that no-one dared touch anything. This house fell in the middle. It wasn’t pristine – Kara could see stains on the carpet and scrapes on the woodwork that showed two boys had grown up in this house – but the imperfections only made the house feel cosy and lived-in, like a proper home.

She wandered upstairs, and amused herself by peeping into the bedrooms. A wide grin crossed her face as she opened the first. She knew whose room this was. Between the music posters, the viper wallpaper and the clutter of possessions covering every available surface, every inch of it screamed Zak.

The next room, cool and green, was obviously Carolanne’s, and Kara moved on hastily. She didn’t want to intrude.

She thought the third room was the spare room for a moment, but it wasn’t the one Carolanne had directed her to. It was decorated in a suitably bland style, with magnolia walls, beige carpet and plain navy bedcovers. Then she noticed that although the desk by the window was bare, there was something on the shelves above it.

She looked closer, and found they were trophies. Cross-country running, swimming, even some pyramid ones. All inscribed with the name Lee Adama.

So this was his room. Kara took another look round, marvelling at the stark emptiness. Either Zak’s brother was incredibly dull, or he liked to keep anything personal hidden away.

When she noticed a large built-in cupboard in the corner of the room, and found the door was locked, Kara inclined towards the second theory. With someone as nosy as Zak could be for a younger brother, keeping your private possessions locked away seemed only sensible.

She left the room and finally headed to the spare room, intending to have a quick nap before the Adamas returned. But as she passed the head of the stairs she heard a key turning in the front door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Kara stopped, surprised. She hadn’t thought they’d been gone long enough to get to the spaceport and back. She started down the stairs.

A man entered and closed the door behind him. Hearing her steps on the stairs, he looked up.

“Mum, I’m here-”

He stopped, staring at Kara. He looked taken aback for a moment, and then grinned.

“Well, either my mother has moved house and not bothered to tell me, or you must be Zak’s girlfriend.”

Kara smiled. “That’s me.” She came down the rest of the stairs.

He smiled and held out his hand. “Kara, isn’t it? I’m Lee, as you may have guessed.”

Kara shook his hand and they looked each other over for a moment, taking stock.

Kara couldn’t help but like what she saw. Zak’s brother was gorgeous. There was really no other word for it. He could have done with a little more height – he wasn’t much taller than she was – but otherwise…well, if she wasn’t already firmly taken, she would have had a second look.

Lee seemed to like what he saw of her as well; at least his smile shifted from polite to friendly.

“Mum and Zak around?”

Kara frowned. “Aren’t they with you? They went to meet you at the spaceport half an hour ago.”

“Ah.” Lee grinned ruefully. “Well that explains why they weren’t there to meet me four hours ago when my shuttle landed.”

“Four hours? You were early?”

“No, I was on time,” said Lee, mouth tightening. “I told Zak I’d be arriving at ten-”

“He told me you’d said two.”

“No, I definitely said ten.” 

“Well, he thought it was two.” Kara shrugged. “In any case, you should have called.”

Lee looked irritated. “I  _ did  _ call. First I tried Zak’s phone-”

Oh. “He...um...realised on the shuttle he’d left that behind in Picon,” Kara explained. “He has a habit of doing that.”

“Then I tried calling here.” Lee walked over to the phone and sighed. “And I see that Mum has still not mastered the art of replacing the receiver properly.”

Kara couldn’t help laughing. “I see Zak comes by his scattiness naturally.” The exasperated expression on his face made her laugh even harder. “I bet the pair of them drive you crazy, don’t they?”

“Sometimes.” Lee smiled at her reluctantly. “Well, Zak’s forgetfulness is going to bite him back now, as we can’t call him to let him know I’m here. I wonder how long they’ll hang around at the spaceport?”

“Well, actually we can ring them,” Kara revealed. “I gave Zak my phone in case he needed to call.” She grinned at him. “But as you’re the offended party, I leave the decision up to you.”

Lee looked puzzled. “Decision?”

Kara grinned wickedly. “About how long you want to leave them hanging around in the spaceport before you call them. A few hours, maybe?”

Lee stared at her, an appreciative grin spreading across his face. “You’re evil.”

“I try,” said Kara blandly. “So, how long are you going to leave it?”

For a moment an answering wicked light danced in Lee’s eyes, but then it faded. He sighed. “If it was just Zak, I’d leave him there, but Mum’s with him, and she’ll worry if I don’t appear. I’d better call them.”

Kara laughed. “You’re too nice for your own good, Lee Adama.”

She gave him the number, and listened with amusement to the conversation.

“No, Zak, I didn’t say I was arriving at two…well yes, I did say I was leaving Aerilon at eight, but…gods, Zak, haven’t you ever heard of the words ‘time difference’?...eight in Aerilon is five in the morning here…oh never mind, just head back here and try not to get lost…no, I am damned well not going to have dinner on the table when you get here…well if I do, there’ll be none for you…bye.”

He put down the phone and turned to Kara. “Well, they’re on their way back, but it’s nearly rush hour now, so I expect it’ll take them a while.”

“Oh.” Kara felt awkward. She hadn’t expected to have to deal with any of this family without Zak to act as a safety barrier.

She looked up, and caught Lee watching her with an equally awkward expression on his face. She hadn’t expected the Lee she’d pictured in her head to even know what awkwardness felt like.

Suddenly she felt better. Maybe the scary older brother wasn’t so scary after all. She smiled at him. “Looks like we’ll have to entertain ourselves.”

“Looks like,” replied Lee. “Any ideas?”

Kara couldn’t help grinning. She knew one sure way for two strangers to get to know each other – and it might be profitable as well.

“You know how to play triad?”

\------------------------------

Lee looked at Kara in disbelief. “Are you kidding? How the hell do you think I managed to get through three years of Academy without learning to play triad?”

Her mouth quirked. “I didn’t  _ think _ it was possible. But Zak tells me you spent the entire time with your nose stuck in a book, so I thought maybe you’d dismissed it as too frivolous.”

Lee groaned. “Let’s get one thing straight right now. Just ignore everything Zak told you about me. He came to visit me maybe once a year in Academy, yet now he thinks he’s an expert on my time there.”

“Oh?” Kara looked intrigued. “So you have a wild side Zak doesn’t know about?”

“Perhaps,” he said, enjoying teasing her. “I am the oldest, you know. I have to keep up appearances. Set an example.”

“Well I hope you didn’t set an example in triad,” said Kara. “Zak is the worst player I've ever met. I like a challenge before I grind my opponents into the dust.”

Lee laughed out loud. “Gods, you’re cocky.”

“With reason.” She smirked.

“We’ll just see about that,” said Lee. “I’ve got a deck of cards upstairs. Let me dump my bags and then we’ll settle down for a game.”

As he headed upstairs he decided he was pleasantly surprised by Zak’s new girlfriend. To be honest, he hadn’t been too pleased when he heard she was coming to stay for Solstice. The main thing he enjoyed about coming home was the chance to just chill out and relax for a few days – with only Zak and Mum around he could be as anti-social as he pleased. With a stranger present he’d have to be on his best behaviour and make polite conversation all the time. He always found it an effort talking to people until he got to know them a little.

He’d had no such problems with Kara Thrace though. After the first moments of awkwardness, he’d found himself chatting easily, even joking. He’d have to get to know her better, of course, but at the moment he would certainly be giving Zak a big thumbs-up. Kara was miles better than that last girl he’d brought home – the one with the annoying giggle and no sense of irony whatsoever. Lee had found himself making ever more sarcastic comments just to see if he could get her to react, but she’d taken everything he said absolutely seriously. It had driven him crazy.

Kara was far better, even if she was a bit cocky. Lee unlocked the cupboard in his room and hunted around for his pack of triad cards. He was sure they were in here somewhere…perhaps he should move some of this stuff out into the bedroom, clear some space. He didn’t really need to keep it all locked away, Zak wasn’t fourteen anymore…

He finally found the cards, and headed downstairs with a grin. He’d see if Kara was still so cocky after a few hands of triad. He wasn’t a bad player, if he did say so himself.

\-----------------

They settled down at the kitchen table with beers and crisps to stave off their hunger. Kara shuffled the cards while Lee emptied his mother’s change jar for coins to use as betting counters.

“So, what are the stakes?” Kara asked.

“Stakes?” Lee looked at her in surprise. “I thought this was just a friendly game.”

“It is.” She looked back with equal surprise. “But where’s the fun without a stake? Triad just isn’t triad without something decent to bet on.”

Lee eyed her narrowly. “I’m not playing for proper money. Mum wouldn’t like it in her house.”

Kara’s hands paused slightly as she shuffled. “I didn’t mean... I wasn’t talking about money. I just meant...a bet, or something.”

Lee didn’t like the look in her eye. “What kind of bet?” 

“I don’t know. Like...like I’ve heard you’re good at cooking,” she said with sudden inspiration.

“In comparison with Mum, that’s not saying much,” said Lee. “But you’re right, I do cook. So?”

“So if I win, you cook me my favourite meal tomorrow night,” said Kara. “Deal?”

“Maybe. Depends what your favourite meal is,” said Lee. “I’m no trained chef, you know.”

“Gods, lighten up, Adama,” said Kara, rolling her eyes. “It’s only a stupid bet.”

“I just like to know what I’m getting into.”

“All right! It’s sausage and mash.”

“I can manage that,” said Lee, relieved.

“With onion gravy.”

“Goes without saying.”

“So what do you want?” asked Kara, as she began to deal. “In the unlikely event that you win.” She grinned as he pulled a face at her. “I warn you, after all the fuss you made over mine I’ll be considering your request carefully.”

Lee thought for a moment. “I want an embarrassing story about Zak. Then I can get my own back next time he’s telling his friends how boring I am. Deal?”

“Hm.” Kara frowned. “Maybe. Nothing sexual, though.”

Lee blanched. He didn’t need those kind of images when it came to his younger brother. “Nothing like that. An idiotic stunt while drunk will do just fine.”

“I can definitely manage that.” Kara grinned widely. “In fact, I’ll have a choice of stories. I hope I can trust you not to reveal your source?” She fixed him with a mock glare.

“I’ll be as silent as the grave,” Lee promised.

“Okay. Now that’s all settled, perhaps we can finally get started,” said Kara. She winked at him. “Best of luck, Lee.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

The triad game didn’t go well.

Lee wasn’t a bad triad player. He’d played almost every week in Academy and then War College and rarely left the table empty-handed.

The trouble was that Kara Thrace wasn’t just a good player. She was brilliant – and uncannily lucky. Lee might have suspected her of cheating if they hadn’t been his own cards, and he hadn’t dealt most of the hands himself.

Lee had to admit – though only to himself – that she was formidable. He managed to take a few hands off her to start with, but once she got a feel for his style of play, it was harder and harder. He persevered, though, studying her as intently as she was studying him. He noticed she tended to bite her lip when she had a good hand. Only a slight movement, but he spotted it. It enabled him to win that hand, but it was too late by then for him to get back into the game. He'd run out of betting counters.

She'd beaten him soundly, and it was going to be sausage and mash for dinner tomorrow night.

“Frak,” said Lee, with a rueful smile. “Did you do anything at the Academy other than play triad?”

Kara grinned. “Actually it was before that. I injured my knee a few years ago and spent a long time in hospital recovering. There wasn’t much to do except play triad. I got plenty of practice.”

“It obviously paid off.”

“Hey, you didn’t do too badly,” said Kara, and Lee grimaced.

“No pity, thanks! I’d rather you rubbed my face in it.”

Kara laughed loudly. “Well if you insist...I wiped the floor with you, Lee Adama, and I will repeat the performance any time you wish.”

“Is that right? You can’t win all the time, Kara Thrace.”

Her eyes gleamed. “Want to bet?”

Lee’s reply was lost in the sound of the front door opening. He jumped up and headed into the hall.

“Hey, you finally made it back. I was beginning to think I’d have to send out a search party.”

Zak pulled a face at him. “Well, if you’d actually turned up when you said you would-”

Lee groaned. “Let’s not get into all that again.”

“Water under the bridge. So how are you, big brother?” Zak slapped Lee on the shoulder, grinning down at him wickedly.

Lee couldn’t help grinning back. It was a ritual greeting between them, ever since Zak had hit fifteen and his growth spurt.

He replied as he always did. “Just fine, little brother. You may have the inches, but I’ll always be older and wiser.”

“And get the first grey hairs,” said Zak. He walked past Lee towards the kitchen. “Where’s Kara? I hope you haven’t scared her away.”

Lee laughed. “I’d like to see the older brother that could scare her away. We’ve been fine. She’s been having great fun kicking my ass at triad.” He scowled at Zak. “You could have warned me.”

“I could have,” said Zak thoughtfully. “But it wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun. I’m just sorry I missed it. I’ve been looking forward to seeing Kara beat you at triad for weeks. You'll have to put on a repeat performance.”

He wandered off to the kitchen, and Lee turned to Carolanne, who was hanging up her coat.

“Lee,” she said, and hugged him tightly. “It’s so good to see you.”

He stepped back and scanned her face closely, as he always did when he saw her again. He couldn’t help worrying about her, even though he knew there was no real reason why he should. Habit, he supposed. After his father left he had always felt he had to look out for her.

“How are things?” he asked.

She smiled and put a hand on his cheek. “Everything in the garden is lovely.” It was what she always said.

Lee smiled back. “Coming up roses?”

“Definitely.”

They headed into the kitchen. Zak had his arm round Kara, and the two of them were laughing over some private joke. Lee smiled as he looked at them. It was great to see Zak so happy.

Zak looked expectantly at Lee. “So, where’s my dinner? I expected to see it bubbling away in the oven-”

Lee threw a tea towel at him. “You’ll just have to wait. Guests first.” He smiled at Kara. “What would you like?”

“What’s the choice?”

“Depends what Mum’s got in the fridge.” 

Carolanne looked slightly awkward. “I’m not quite sure. I...I thought I’d leave the food shopping until you got here. You always know just what to get-”

Lee walked over and opened the fridge. He couldn’t help laughing as he looked at the contents. It was so typical of his mother.

“Eggs, eggs, milk and more eggs…” He looked up. “Looks like it’s omelettes, then. Plain omelettes.”

\------------------------

They ate plain omelettes, and then Lee joined Kara in the living room while Zak and Carolanne cleared away.

“One good thing about being the cook,” said Lee, “is that I never have to wash up.” He switched on the television. “What would you like to watch?”

Kara hesitated. “Well... there is a Panthers game on. But I don’t mind...if you don’t like pyramid-”

Lee laughed ruefully. “Don’t worry, I like pyramid. You’re not allowed to dislike it in this family.” He switched to the right channel. “Are you a big fan?”

“Huge. I was going to play pro myself, at one point.”

“You were?”

“Before I hurt my knee.”

“Of course.” He remembered her comment earlier. “So you joined the Fleet instead?”

“And found flying. So I don’t regret it.”

Lee could understand that. Everything had changed for him when he discovered flying.

Zak and Carolanne soon came to join them.

“Oh, a Panthers game!” said Carolanne delightedly, sitting in the armchair and propping her feet on the coffee table. “I’d forgotten this was on.”

Kara stared at her with astonishment, and Lee and Zak both burst out laughing.

Zak kissed Kara’s cheek affectionately. “Don’t look so surprised. Who do you think got me into pyramid in the first place?”

“She dragged us off to watch it every weekend,” said Lee, with a long-suffering sigh.

“You see what we went through in our childhood?” said Zak. “Indoctrinated into being pyramid fanatics-”

Carolanne sent him a mock glare. “I obviously didn’t indoctrinate you well enough. No talking during play!”

“Yes ma’am,” said Zak with a salute.

\------------------------

After the game finished – it was a narrow victory for the Panthers, much to Kara’s very vocal satisfaction – Zak and Kara headed upstairs, leaving Carolanne and Lee drinking tea in the kitchen. They clattered around overhead, joking loudly until their voices cut off with suspicious abruptness.

Lee grinned. “Do you really think she’s going to end up sleeping in the spare room?”

“Probably not,” Carolanne admitted. “But a mother likes to keep her illusions.” She blew on her tea to cool it. “I like her.”

“Of course you do. She’s almost as fanatical about pyramid as you are.”

Carolanne smiled. “There is that. And you’re not freezing her out. That’s always a good sign.”

“What?” Lee almost choked on his tea. “I do not freeze people out!”

“Yes, you do,” said Carolanne. “That last girl Zak brought home...you barely said ten words to her the first evening.”

Lee stared down into his mug. “I’m just not good with strangers. You know that.”

“I certainly do,” said Carolanne wryly. “But you seem to be warming up to Kara quickly enough, and that’s a big mark in her favour as far as I’m concerned. I trust your judgement, Lee.”

“Oh.” Lee didn’t know quite what to say to that. He felt pleased and embarrassed all at once.

When he looked up again his mother was studying him thoughtfully, with a look in her eye that made him feel suddenly wary.

“So. When are you going to bring a girl home to meet me, Lee?”

_ Frak. _ Lee buried himself in his mug of tea again. “When there’s someone important enough for you to meet.”

“And when’s that going to be?”

“I don’t know.” Lee felt himself growing irritated. “Come on, Mum, I’m only twenty-four. It’s not like it’s time I settled down.”

Carolanne sighed. “I know. And I should stop being an interfering mother. It’s just...I worry about you, Lee. Zak always seems to have some girl he’s raving about, but you...you never mention anyone.”

“There have been girls,” Lee said, feeling awkward. He really didn’t want to have this conversation with her. “In fact, I’ve been kind of seeing someone for the last few months. On and off.” Maybe that would get her off his back.

“Really?” Carolanne’s eyes lit up. “What’s her name?”

“Gianne. She’s a law student.” Lee sighed. “Mum, it’s just a casual thing so far.”

“All right.” Carolanne patted his hand. “I’ll stop interrogating you. I’m just concerned about you, that’s all. You don’t find it easy to let people in. You never have.” Her hand closed tightly on his for a moment. “I just want you to be happy, Lee.”

“I know.” He sighed, his irritation suddenly draining away. “Don’t worry, Mum. I’ll open up to the right person when I find her. I promise.”

  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Kara stirred in Zak’s arms and wondered for a moment where she was. The room seemed darker than normal, and Zak was squashing her against the wall. Her bed wasn’t against a wall.

She opened her eyes and blinked when she saw that the wall was covered with vipers. She blinked again, but they were still there. She was just thinking she must have had more to drink than usual, when memory seeped back. She was in Zak’s family home, in his old bedroom. Somehow she had never quite made it to the spare room last night.

A knock sounded at the door, and Kara came fully awake.

She elbowed Zak in the ribs. “Wake up!”

He turned, wincing, eyes heavy with sleep. “What?”

“Wake up!” The knock sounded again, and Kara had no intention of answering it. Especially when the knock was followed by Carolanne’s voice calling her son’s name. She wasn’t about to ruin Carolanne’s opinion of her by opening her son’s bedroom door half naked.

“Answer her!” She pushed Zak out of the bed and ducked under the covers.

She heard him stumble to the door and open it. “Morning, Mum. Why are you waking me at the crack of dawn?”

“It’s not dawn, it’s ten o’clock.” Carolanne sounded amused. “Lee’s busy cooking breakfast and I didn’t think you’d want to miss out.”

“Thanks, Mum. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Good. Oh...you might want to look in on Kara on your way down. She must be fast asleep. She didn’t answer my knock and I don’t want to disturb her.” Carolanne sounded as if she was trying not to laugh.

“Sure, Mum.” Zak hurriedly closed the door.

Kara rolled out from under the crumpled duvet, face red. “Frak! She knew I was here, didn’t she?”

“Sure did.” Zak grinned ruefully. “My mum’s no fool.”

“Damn it!” Kara started hunting around for her clothes. “Breakfast is going to be embarrassing.”

Zak crouched down beside her and gently turned her to face him. “Kara, don’t worry. She isn’t going to hold it against you. She may have offered you the spare room, but I doubt she expected you to actually sleep there.”

Kara stared down at the carpet. “I just want to make a good impression on her, Zak.”

“You are.” Zak caught her chin and forced her to look at him. His brown eyes were wide and sincere. “Trust me, she likes you.” He smiled coaxingly. “If she didn’t, she’d have let us sleep through breakfast.”

\----------------------------

After breakfast – which was unsurprisingly eggs again – Lee headed off to the supermarket with a long list, an intent expression, and Carolanne in tow to push the trolley.

“Don’t forget the sausages,” Kara called as they left, and Lee roused from his abstraction.

“Don’t worry,” he said, smiling. “I always pay my debts.”

“You finished eating?” Zak asked her, as the front door closed. “We should get down to the park before the sunshine disappears.”

Kara gave him her plate to wash, frowning. “It seems a bit unfair that your brother has to trail down to the supermarket while we wander round the park.”

“Oh, don’t worry about Lee,” said Zak, waving his hand dismissively. “He positively enjoys boring chores like food shopping. Besides, if I offered to go instead, he’d just turn me down. I wouldn’t do it properly.”

“Well, you wouldn’t,” grinned Kara. “Your idea of food shopping is to call for a takeaway.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Zak raised a dripping hand, grinning, and smeared bubbles over her face.

“You bastard!” gasped Kara, laughing. She reached into the sink and grabbed some bubbles to retaliate.

\---------------------

By the time they had finished the bubble fight, cleaned up the kitchen – and kissed and made up – the morning was well advanced. It was nearly noon by the time they got to the park.

It wasn’t a particularly large park, but they made the most of what it had to offer. They fed the ducks, and climbed to the top of the steepest hill just for the pleasure of running down it again at full tilt, screaming at the top of their lungs. They invaded the children’s playground and took possession of the swings. They pushed them as high as they could go, shaking the rusty metal frame so violently that Zak said they were going to pull it out of the ground.

They might have done, if a park keeper hadn’t arrived to inform them that the playground was only for children under the age of twelve, and would they please move along.

“I have a mental age of twelve,” said Kara, with her most innocent smile. “Doesn’t that count?”

Zak hurriedly pulled her away, and she moaned at him for spoiling her fun for the next five minutes, until they came across an ice-cream stand. Then she insisted that he bought her an ice-cream to make it up to her.

“How can you want an ice-cream?” asked Zak, staring at her incredulously. “It’s freezing!”

“It’s never too cold for ice-cream,” said Kara. “Now go get me a cone. A large one. And I want one of those chocolate sticks in it.”

Zak went off grumbling about insane women, but he bought himself an ice-cream too. They sat on a bench to eat them, picking one that was out of the wind.

“So, what do you think of the Adamas so far?” Zak asked. “Think you can stand a whole week with us?”

“Only with a lot of alcohol.”

Zak stuck his tongue out at her. “Seriously.”

“Seriously? Do I have to?” He pulled another face, and Kara laughed and relented. “Seriously, they both seem very nice. Especially your brother. He’s a lot less stuffy than you led me to believe.”

Zak looked surprised. “He is?”

“From the way you were describing him, I expected him to be uptight and difficult to talk to, but we had a good time playing triad while we were waiting for you to come back from the spaceport.”

Zak shrugged. “Well, he’s always much more relaxed at home. To be honest, though, I was fairly sure he’d get on with you. I thought you’d know how to deal with him.”

“You did? How exactly am I dealing with him?”

“Well, I expect you jumped straight in and started chatting to him like you’d known him your whole life,” said Zak, with a knowing look.

Kara flushed slightly. “And what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. I’ve always liked that about you.” Zak finished the last bit of his cone. “And it’s just the way to deal with Lee. Doesn’t give him time to get his defences up.”

“Defences?” Kara was puzzled. Lee had been nothing but open and friendly so far. “I didn’t see any.”

“You wait till we go to visit Dad.” Zak grimaced. “You’ll see what I mean then about Lee being uptight and awkward.”

“So they don’t get on?” Kara looked at him curiously.

“Not really.” Zak smiled his usual careless smile, but Kara could see it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Trouble is, they’re too alike, not that either of them would ever admit it. Too stubborn to give each other an inch of leeway.”

He turned away from Kara slightly, staring down towards the pond. “I’m glad you’re coming along this year. It might lessen the tension.”

“Really?” Kara watched him closely. It wasn’t often that she saw anything dampen Zak’s cheerful outlook on life. He didn’t usually allow it to. But this obviously did. “What’s it usually like, then?”

Zak sighed, still staring into the distance. “Usually, we all sit round the table while Dad tries to find out what’s going on in Lee’s life and Lee stonewalls him by saying as little as possible. Then I ask Dad what he’s been doing, and he tells me while Lee makes sarcastic comments wherever he possibly can. Eventually Dad’s patience snaps and they have a sharp argument which ends with Lee stalking out to wait for me in the car.”

“And then?”

“Then Dad and I have a great afternoon together.” Zak smiled properly, warmth springing into his eyes. “He doesn’t get a lot of shore leave, so we don’t get to spend time together very often.” His smile dimmed again. “Although then of course I have to drive back with Lee glaring at me for even giving Dad the time of day.”

“But why shouldn’t you want to spend time with him?” Kara was puzzled. “He’s your father.”

Zak’s mouth twisted. “As far as Lee is concerned, he stopped being our father when he walked out on Mum and left us all behind.”

“But you don’t feel like that?” Kara felt rather touched that he was telling her all this.

“Do I wish he hadn’t left?” Zak shrugged. “Of course I do. But...well, shit happens. It wasn’t all his fault, whatever Lee likes to make out. And he’s done his best to make it up to me since.” He smiled at her, face clearing. “I guess I just think that life’s too short for holding grudges.”

Kara stared at him for a moment, and then leaned forward and kissed him. Thoroughly.

When she finally sat back, Zak was looking a little bewildered. “What was that for?”

“For being you.” Kara grinned, trying to lighten the mood. “Now how about another ice-cream?”

\------------------------

Lee was as good as his word, and they had sausage and mash for dinner, complete with onion gravy. Kara had to admit it was pretty good, though she wasn’t about to tell him so. Instead she ate slowly, making a big show of considering each mouthful, and eventually told him it wasn’t bad.

He didn’t rise to the bait. “In that case, you won’t want a second helping,” he said, and smoothly refilled his own plate.

“Hey!” Kara protested. “Those are my second helpings! I won this meal fair and square.” She reached for Lee’s plate and he pulled it back, laughing.

The phone rang.

“I’ll get that,” said Zak, standing up. “Leave the two of you to fight it out.”

He answered the phone, and his whole face beamed. “Hi, Dad! How are you?” His voice was warm with pleasure.

Kara looked back at Lee and saw the smile fade from his face.

“Here, it’s all yours,” he said, and started scraping the mashed potato onto her plate.

“It’ll be great to see you tomorrow,” Zak was saying. “I’ve got so much to tell you about Academy, and you can meet Kara. You’ll like her, she loves vipers as much as you do-”

He broke off. Looking up, Kara saw his face change. The smile died out of his eyes and he looked suddenly tired.

“You can’t? But that’s so...well, if it’s like that, I suppose it can’t be helped.” Kara could hear the disappointment in his voice, despite his efforts to mask it. “Dad, don’t worry about it, it’s fine...I understand, really.”

He put the phone down and turned to Carolanne. “Dad wants to speak to you.”

He sat back down next to Kara, unconsciously holding out his hand. She took it and squeezed it hard.

“What’s wrong?”

“Dad can’t make it,” he said, the disappointment clear now. “He’s had to cancel his shore leave. There’s a few problems on Galactica and he really needs to be there at the moment-”

“Oh, I’m sure he does,” said Lee.

Kara looked at him, surprised by the acid edge to his tone. His face was set hard, and his eyes were flat and cold. She remembered suddenly what Zak had said this afternoon, about Lee having another side to him.

“Lee, you know he wouldn’t cancel unless it was important-”

“And you’re not?” Lee shot back.

“Lee.” That was Carolanne, holding out the receiver. “Lee, your father wants to talk to you.”

“Does he?” Lee folded his arms. “Well, you can tell him I’m busy.”

Carolanne’s face tightened. “Lee. Just come and talk to him.”

Lee pushed his chair around to face her. “I said I’m busy.” His voice rose, loud enough to be heard through the receiver. “You can tell him I’ve got more  _ important  _ things to do.”

Carolanne stared at him for several moments, her mouth set in an exasperated line. Kara had not imagined she could look quite so grim. Finally she brought the receiver back to her mouth and said, “He’ll ring you back, Bill.” Then she hung up.

The tension in the kitchen was palpable. Kara shifted uncomfortably, wondering if she should slip out. Unfortunately, Zak was still holding her hand.

Lee stood to face his mother, defiant. “I’m not calling him back.”

“Yes, you are,” said Carolanne, still in that exasperated tone. “And you will apologise for your rudeness.”

“Oh, that’s right, defend him as usual!” Lee laughed harshly. “Typical. He rings to say he can’t be bothered to spend time with his own family over Solstice, and you want  _ me _ to apologise to  _ him _ !”

“He didn’t do it on purpose, Lee.” Zak sounded weary, as if he had been through this a hundred times before. “Something very important came up-”

“Of course it did. Something important  _ always  _ comes up. Always has and always will.”

“He’s a commander in the fleet. It means he can’t always do as he’d like-”

“Oh for frak’s sake!” Lee swung round towards his brother. “When are you going to open your eyes, Zak? He doesn’t care about any of us, he never has. His damn ship is always going to come first, and you need to grow up and realise that!”

Zak jumped to his feet, glaring. “And when are  _ you _ going to grow up, Lee? When are you going to get that chip off your shoulder and stop treating Dad as if he’s the big bad villain in all this?”

“Zak’s right.” Carolanne jumped in. “You need to stop being so childish. The way you behave to him...sulking, refusing to speak...anyone would think you were still a teenager!”

“ _ I’m  _ childish?” Lee's voice cracked angrily. “That’s rich, coming from you! You didn’t think I was childish when Dad walked out and you left me to deal with everything because you were so upset you couldn’t get out of bed-”

“Lee!” Carolanne went suddenly pale, and Zak moved quickly to her side.

“Do you think I don’t remember that?” Lee’s voice was thick with emotion. “Do you think I don’t remember how devastated you were? How Zak used to cry himself to sleep?”

“Lee, that was all a long time ago-” Carolanne was almost pleading.

“It doesn’t matter,” said Lee, low and fierce. “It happened, and I can’t forget it. It happened, and it was all his fault. If you two want to pretend it didn’t, want to brush it all away and forgive him, you go ahead. I can’t.” He jerked open the back door and stalked through it, slamming it shut behind him.

  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

There was a moment of complete silence. Kara stared down at the remains of her dinner and tried to pretend she wasn’t there. Although in a strange way, the argument made her feel more comfortable. She wasn’t sure she could fit into a perfect family that never said a cross word.

“I think I’m going to lie down for a while,” said Carolanne. Her voice sounded very faint.

“Mum-”

“I’m fine, Zak. I just need to be alone for a while.”

She disappeared upstairs. Zak sat down beside Kara, swearing under his breath.

“Gods, Lee can be such a bastard sometimes. He’s got no right to talk to Mum like that. I’ve a good mind to go out there and-”

“And do what? Punch him? That’ll really make your mum feel better.”

Zak swore again, and she took his hand. “I could go and punch him for you, if you like.”

That finally raised a smile, much to her relief. It unsettled her when Zak didn’t smile.

“That’s very sweet of you, but I’ll pass.”

“Come on,” said Kara, standing up and pulling him with her. “Let’s go watch a film or something. Take your mind off it.”

She dragged him into the living room, and curled up next to him on the sofa. She put on the silliest comedy film she could find, and after an hour or so she was pleased to feel the tension easing out of his body and his laughter ringing out genuinely.

Carolanne came back downstairs not long after, composure firmly back in place.

“Where’s Lee?” she asked, looking around.

Zak shrugged, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen. “Still outside, I guess.”

“Outside?”

“He’s sitting on the porch,” said Kara. She’d had a look when she went to get a beer from the kitchen.

“He’s been there all this time?” Carolanne looked worried. “In this weather? He must be freezing! Maybe I should go and-”

“Just leave him, Mum,” said Zak, still watching the film. “There’s no talking to him when he’s like this, you know that.”

“But-”

“Leave him. He’ll come back in when he’s ready.”

“I suppose you’re right,” said Carolanne, but she didn’t sound convinced. Kara looked at her worried face and felt abruptly sorry for her.

“I’ll go if you like.”

They both turned to stare at her and Kara shifted awkwardly. Why the hell had she said that? She didn’t need to get involved in their family squabbles. But Carolanne had been so nice to her, and she just wanted to do something to help…

“I’ll go and talk to him if you want,” she said. “It might be easier. After all, I’m a guest and a stranger. He’s hardly going to shout at me.”

“Well, if you don’t mind-” The lines around Carolanne’s mouth eased slightly. “That’s very kind of you, Kara.”

Kara shrugged uncomfortably. “No problem. Really.”

\--------------------------

Lee was indeed still out on the back porch. It was freezing, but he didn’t seem to notice as he sat on the top step smoking a cigarette.

Kara sat down next to him. “Zak said you didn’t smoke.”

“Only when the occasion calls for it.” He offered the pack. “Want one?”

“Thanks.” She took one and used his lighter.

“I’m sorry you had to get caught up in all that,” he said, after a moment.

Kara shrugged, taking a drag of her cigarette. “Families are messy. I can relate.”

He half smiled. “I’m sure everyone can.”

There was a pause, and Kara thought he wasn’t going to say any more, but then he spoke.

“It just bugs me, that’s all. Every time Zak gets his hopes up. Every time. And every time he gets crushed. I just...I thought he would have learnt by now.”

“Sounds like you have,” said Kara, keeping her voice neutral.

Lee smiled bitterly. “You’re right there. I learnt a long time ago that it’s best not to expect anything from him. From anyone. That way, you don’t get hurt.”

Kara turned her head slowly to look at him, struck by his words. She’d said similar things to herself more often than she could count. Whenever her dad let her down, whenever her mum hurt her, whenever another boy left her behind. Perhaps she and Lee had something in common after all.

“It just makes me so angry, the way they make excuses for him,” Lee went on. “That he’s busy, he has so many responsibilities, that he does his best. It’s all complete bullshit.” He slammed his hand down on the edge of the step.

“It is?”

“Yes. Because the truth is he made his choice. When he left Mum, when he left us. He chose the fleet over his family. Put what he wanted before what we needed. And there are no excuses for that.”

“No there aren’t,” said Kara, and found the words came out as fiercely as his had done.

Lee looked at her curiously.

“My dad left me too.” She smiled bitterly. “Told you I could relate.”

“He walked out on you and your mum?”

“Yes.” Kara knew she should leave it at that, but for some reason she went on. “I never saw him again.”

She looked up. Lee was staring at her, face full of concern, and for the first time she could see his resemblance to Zak.

She tensed, waiting for the platitudes, the sympathy. Poised to stalk away at the first sign of pity.

But he didn’t do any of that.

“Rough,” he said, and took another drag of his cigarette.

Kara relaxed. He wasn’t going to smother her in sympathy then.

“So he made a choice too,” she said, after a moment. “Between doing what he wanted, and leaving me alone with my mum. And he didn’t choose me.”

“You can’t forgive something like that,” said Lee, his voice harsh.

“No.” Kara stared out at the stars, wishing she were up there. A week without flying suddenly seemed like an eternity.

“What was wrong with your mum?” Lee asked, after a moment.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you want to be left alone with her?”

Oh. “She was strict,” said Kara, after a moment, and hoped the tone of her voice would stop him there.

It did. He didn’t say any more, and they sat there for a while in silence as they finished their cigarettes.

Kara was wondering what had possessed her to talk about her parents. She rarely did. Not even Zak knew more than that her dad wasn’t around and she didn’t speak to her mum. She had never volunteered any details, and he had never asked. Yet for some reason she had talked about it to Lee.

People often said it was easier to talk to strangers. Maybe that was it. The fact that Lee was a stranger, and yet she felt comfortable with him.

It was odd. She didn’t feel instantly comfortable with many people. She was glad it had happened with Zak’s brother. She thought too, that he felt the same. She got the feeling he didn’t open up to many people, especially about his father.

She stubbed out her cigarette and smiled at Lee.

“So, are we going back in? I’m freezing out here and I haven’t kicked your butt at triad enough times yet.”

He smiled. Reluctantly, but he smiled. “Maybe I’ll kick yours.”

“I’d like to see that!” She pulled him to his feet. “No-one beats the great Starbuck, you know.”

“At triad?”

She grinned cockily, challenging him. “At anything.”

He was smiling properly now. “Well, we’ll just have to test that theory.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Lee didn’t get a chance to apologise to his mum or Zak that evening. He knew he’d gone too far with some of the things he’d said. He always did when he lost his temper.

He didn’t feel he could say anything with Kara there, though, and by the time they’d finished playing triad Zak and Carolanne had both gone to bed.

As it turned out, he didn’t have to apologise to Zak. He came downstairs the next morning to the sound of his brother’s tuneless humming and the smell of burnt pancakes, and knew he was forgiven. Zak’s anger never lasted for long.

The pancakes were disgusting, but Lee ate every one.

\-------------------------

He faced his mother in the living room after breakfast while Zak and Kara were still in the kitchen.

“I’m sorry,” he said, sitting down next to her on the sofa. “I shouldn’t have said what I did to you last night. It wasn’t fair.”

Carolanne looked at him sadly for a moment, and then sighed. “Maybe. I’m sorry too, Lee. I know I leaned on you far too much when your father first left, and I shouldn’t have.”

Lee shifted uncomfortably. He hadn’t meant to make her feel guilty. “I coped.”

“You shouldn’t have had to cope, Lee. You were only fourteen.”

Carolanne's eyes were bright with tears, and Lee couldn’t bear it. He put his hand over hers.

“Don’t get upset, Mum. Please. It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.” 

“No, it doesn’t,” said Lee. Gods, he wished he’d kept his mouth shut about this. It had been a hard time for all of them, and he had been scared and resentful about being left to sort everything out while she hid away from it all, but he should never have said so. Not after all this time. “It’s fine, Mum. Really.”

“Very well.” She sighed. “There’s just one thing I want to say to you, Lee. Without you jumping down my throat.”

“It’s about Dad, isn’t it?” He couldn’t help pulling back, taking his hand away from hers.

“I just wish you’d give him a chance, Lee. I’m afraid that otherwise you’re going to leave it too late and end up regretting it.”

He felt the familiar anger stirring again.

“I won’t.” He stood abruptly. “I don’t regret anything I’ve done when it comes to him.”

He headed back to the safety of the kitchen before she could say anything more.

\------------------------------

Over the next few days, Zak and Kara, with Lee in tow, sampled almost all the amusements the small town had to offer.

They went skating on the tiny ice rink. Watched a movie at the decrepit old cinema and heckled when the adverts came on upside down. Played laserquest and had great fun shooting each other dead and then miraculously recovering. Got drunk at each of the town’s four bars. Worked their way through every game in the arcade.

Through it all, Kara found herself constantly competing with Lee. He’d obviously taken her challenge that night on the porch to heart.

She wasn’t too surprised. Guys always competed with her. She was used to it. Weary of it to the point of boredom, in fact. The reason Zak had caught her attention had been that he was the first man she’d met who didn’t even try to compete with her. Instead he just sat back and watched her with an appreciative smile. He was different. He accepted her, and didn’t seem to feel he had to prove himself in comparison.

Lee was different, too, but for completely the opposite reason. He was the first man she’d ever met who could keep up with her. If she wanted to beat him, she really had to work at it, and sometimes she didn’t succeed.

She couldn’t help enjoying it. It was nice to have a competitor who posed a serious challenge for a change.

\-------------------------------

The afternoon in the arcade, they started off with the shooting range. Kara narrowly hit more targets than Lee, but they were both out-classed by Zak. He was an uncannily accurate shot; sometimes Kara would swear he wasn’t even looking at the target and he still managed to hit it dead centre every time.

Zak then moved on to another shooting game, while Lee and Kara tried out one of the driving games. Lee was soon looking at her exasperatedly.

“Kara, the point of the game is to complete the course as fast as possible, not to force me off the road!”

“Is it?” She put on her most innocent face. “Really?”

“Yes!”

She grinned. “Well, my way’s much more fun.”

Lee frowned, but she could tell he was trying not to smile. “Come on, Lee. It  _ is _ more fun. Admit it.”

“All right,” he said grudgingly, and his smile broke free. “Prepare to be introduced to the roadside dirt, then, Kara. You asked for it.”

It was much more fun playing the game her way. Lee got into the spirit of it and managed to force her off the road three times. They were both laughing hysterically by the time Zak finally drifted over.

“I never realised ‘Motorsport Time Trial’ was so entertaining,” he commented, looking at the side of the booth.

“It is if you play it right,” gasped Lee, trying to control his laughter. “Thank you for opening my eyes, Kara.”

Zak chuckled. “I’m not even going to ask.” He looked at Kara. “Want to try the dance mat?”

She jumped out of her seat immediately. “Do you even have to ask?” She seized his hand and started to drag him in the direction of the dance mat, only pausing to look back at Lee. “You coming?”

He pulled a face. “I think I’ll pass. I have two left feet where dancing is concerned.”

It turned into a long session on the dance mat. Zak and Kara were hot and breathless afterwards, and Zak headed off to get some drinks, leaving her with Lee.

“Your turn now,” she said. “What do you want to play next? Although I would prefer something that involves sitting down.”

Lee looked around at the nearby games, and then suddenly grinned. “Look over there, Kara.”

She followed his pointing finger and grinned in return as she saw the game he was pointing at – Viper Attack.

“We can’t pass that up.”

“Certainly not.”

They hurried over before anyone else took the game. Lee fished in his pocket for change while Kara read the rules.

“We go one at a time. Winner is the one who shoots down the most Cylons.”

“Okay. Who goes first?”

Kara waved him towards the seat. “Age before beauty, Lee.”

He stuck his tongue out at her and dropped down in the seat. Kara leaned in behind him to watch as the game started, and heroically restrained herself from distracting him at a crucial moment by pulling his ear.

The game was nothing like a proper simulator, of course, but it still required a fair amount of skill, particularly once you were past the first level. Between manoeuvring round asteroids and shooting down Cylons, it needed sharp eyes, accuracy and quick reflexes.

Lee knocked the highest scoring player off the top spot.

He turned to look at Kara with a triumphant smirk. “Beat that, Thrace.”

She pushed him out of the seat. “Oh, I will, Adama.”

She took a deep breath, focusing herself. Somehow this competition seemed more important than any of the others. Probably because it was flying. She could never be casual when it came to flying.

Somehow she got the impression that flying was an equally serious matter for Lee. And she wanted to impress him.

So she played the stupid arcade game with as much concentration and intensity as if she was really flying her viper. She was so engrossed that when the game finally ended, it took her a moment to realise it.

“How did I do?”

The total flashed up on the screen, and she heard Lee swear behind her.

She’d beaten him. By one point, but she’d beaten him.

She whooped loudly and twisted round to look at him. “Not so smug now, are you?”

Lee was looking annoyed, but he managed a smile. “I think you’re being smug enough for the both of us.”

That was another thing she liked about him. He wasn’t a sore loser. 

“Well, I have a right to be.” She figured she was entitled to rub it in a little.

“It was only one point.”

“But that one point makes a world of difference.” She grinned. “Tell me you’re impressed, Lee. Come on. Admit it.”

“Maybe just a little.” He looked at her slyly. “Although of course this wasn’t a real simulator.”

Kara slapped his arm. “I’ll beat you on one of those too. Next time you visit Zak on Picon. You up for it?”

“Of course.” Lee laughed. “It’s a date.”

There was an awkward moment of silence. Lee flushed.

“That is...I didn’t mean-”

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Kara rushed to assure him. “It’s just a figure of speech.”

It was. So why did she suddenly feel so self-conscious?

“Seriously, though, I was impressed,” said Lee, hastily changing the subject. “If you’re this good a pilot now, I hate to think what you’ll be like by the time you graduate.”

“Graduate from where?”

“Flight school, of course.” Lee looked confused.

“Flight school?” Kara was insulted. “Gods, that was two years ago! Are you trying to say I fly like a nugget, Lee?”

“You’ve graduated?” Lee was frowning. “But I thought...Zak said he’d met you in his flight class.”

“He did.” Kara was confused now, too.

“But you’re not a cadet…”

“No, I’m a lieutenant. I’m his flight instructor.”

“ _ What _ ?” Lee looked stunned. “You’re his  _ flight instructor _ ?” Kara could practically see the wheels in his brain turning. “But...but that means you’re his superior officer. His  _ direct _ superior officer.”

Kara looked at him warily. His eyes had narrowed and his mouth set into a tight line.

“Zak didn’t tell you, did he?” she said slowly.

“That he was busy breaking the frat regs with you? No, he forgot to mention that little detail.”

Looking at Lee’s scowling face, Kara could see why. He obviously wasn’t pleased, and she had a feeling he wasn’t going to keep his displeasure to himself.

She grimaced. Zak wasn’t going to thank her for this. Why couldn’t she ever learn to keep her big mouth shut?

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Kara quickly discovered exactly why Zak hadn’t told his brother that she was his superior officer. Lee was obviously one of those sticklers when it came to regulations.

“What the hell were you two thinking?” he demanded. “Don't you realise you’re breaking the frat regs in about every possible way?”

“Really?” Kara’s temper sparked. How dare he talk to her like that? He wasn’t  _ her _ brother. “Gee, thanks for pointing that out, Lee. I’d never have noticed.”

Her sarcasm glanced off him. “Did you even think what the consequences will be if you’re found out?”

“We won’t be found out. We’re very careful-”

“Careful?” Lee laughed derisively. “Zak? Careful? That’ll be the day. He doesn’t even know the meaning of the word discretion, and from what I’ve seen I don’t think you’re much better-”

Kara wasn’t sure if he was insulting her or not. Either way, her temper soared.

“And what business is it of yours anyway?” she snapped.

He stared at her incredulously. “Zak’s my brother!”

“So? That doesn’t mean he needs you interfering in his life.”

“He does when he’s making a huge mistake.”

A mistake? Kara flinched despite herself. He thought she was a huge mistake?

“Maybe Zak doesn’t think he’s making a mistake,” she said. She wouldn’t let him get to her.

“Then he’s an idiot,” said Lee. “Academy’s a hotbed of gossip. The authorities are bound to find out about you two sooner or later, and when they do-”

He was right, but Kara wasn’t about to admit it. “We’ll deal with that when it happens.” 

“And you’re just going to bury your head in the sand until then?”

She was. Kara knew as well as he did that it would be disastrous if she and Zak were discovered, but she refused to think about it. Zak made her happy, and she wasn’t about to give him up.

“Why not?” she said, staring at him defiantly. “We’re happy together. That’s all that matters.”

Lee snorted. “Gods, just listen to yourself! You sound like a romantic novel.”

“ _ What _ ?” Kara had never been so insulted in her life. “You take that back!”

“No, I won’t! You do. Pretending you can just drift along in your rosy bubble, as if the real world doesn’t exist. What happens when it bursts?”

“Then we’ll deal with the fallout!” They were standing nose to nose now, glaring at each other. “Either way it’s our frakking choice, Lee, not yours! This has nothing to do with you and you should just stay out of it!”

“What the hell is going on?”

Kara swung round to find Zak standing beside them, holding three paper cups of soda. She’d been so busy yelling at Lee she hadn’t seen him approach.

“Well?” said Zak, when neither of them answered immediately. There was a hard note in his voice that Kara had only heard a few times before. “Is one of you going to explain why I could hear the two of you yelling at each other halfway across the room?”

Lee turned to his brother, face hard. “You want an explanation? Fine. I just discovered Kara is your flight instructor.”

Zak swore and put down the paper cups.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lee asked. He sounded slightly hurt.

“Why didn’t I tell you?” Zak laughed harshly. “ _ This _ is why, Lee. I knew you’d over-react like this.”

“Over-react?” Lee was getting angry again. “I’m not over-reacting, Zak. This is serious. What do you think is going to happen if you get caught?”

“I don’t care!” Zak’s rare temper was flaring now. “I love Kara and that’s all that matters.”

“Not you as well!” Lee rolled his eyes. “That’s utterly ridiculous.”

“No, it’s not! Not that I’d expect you to understand anything about love,” said Zak cuttingly. “Love’s not really your style, is it Lee? Too risky, too messy, too uncontrolled...and gods forbid you should ever lose any of your precious self-control!”

Kara took a few steps back, suddenly uncomfortable. She wasn’t sure she should be listening to this. She picked up one of the discarded drinks, and looked down into the cup as she took a sip.

Lee had looked stricken for a moment at Zak’s last remark, but he rallied quickly enough. “Well, we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. Have you thought what will happen if they find out, Zak? Really thought about it?”

“Of course I have!” Zak snapped. “So what? Yes, it’ll mean a reprimand, a mark on my permanent record, some brig time. Stop fussing, Lee. It’s hardly the end of the world.”

“Not for you, maybe.” Lee’s voice was granite hard. “But what about Kara? Have you thought about her?”

Kara’s head jerked up. It was the last thing she had expected to hear. From the way he had been acting a few minutes ago, she had thought he blamed her for dragging Zak into this mess.

Zak looked equally bewildered. “Kara?”

“Yes, Kara,” said Lee impatiently. “Gods, Zak, think for a minute! She’s the one they’ll come down on hardest, not you. She’s the senior officer. She’s the instructor. She’s the one they’ll think should have known better. Yes, you’ll probably get off with some brig time, but she won’t. She’ll certainly lose her instructor’s post. She might even be demoted. Probably be assigned to the most dead-end posting they can find.”

Kara’s hand tightened on the paper cup, her stomach suddenly churning. He wasn’t saying anything she didn’t already know. That she hadn’t accepted was a possibility when she and Zak got together. But it was suddenly a lot more frightening when someone else said it out loud.

Zak was pale with shock. “I hadn’t thought…”

“You never do,” said Lee wearily. He scrubbed a hand over his face and turned to Kara. “Look, Kara, I’m sorry I shouted at you. You’re right, it is none of my business. But Zak’s my brother, and I like you. I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.” He sighed, looking back at Zak. “It’s probably best if I head off. I’ll see you back at home.”

\-------------------------

After Lee had gone, Kara took Zak into the cafe next door and ordered two large coffees. Zak was still looking shaken by what Lee had said.

“Thanks,” he said, as she put the steaming cup down in front of him.

“Yeah, well, you can thank me by telling me the next time you decide to keep secrets from your family.” She was still annoyed with him about that. “If you’d just told me you didn’t want Lee to know I was your instructor, we could have avoided that lovely little scene.”

“Sorry about that.” Zak looked gloomily down at his coffee. “I didn’t mean for you to get caught in the crossfire.”

Kara shrugged. “I’ll live.” To be honest, her anger with Lee had been largely wiped out by the concern he had shown for her. She still couldn’t quite believe that he had yelled at Zak for not thinking about what might happen to  _ her _ . 

And then he had said he liked her.

People didn’t often like her, Kara had found. She seemed to inspire extreme reactions in people, so that they either loved her or hated her, with very little in between. It meant she had a busy love life, plenty of enemies, and very few friends.

She thought now that she might have found another of those rare friends.

“I just...I knew Lee wouldn’t approve,” Zak said. “That he’d say I was being stupid and start pointing out everything that could go wrong.”

He lifted his head to look at her, and Kara caught her breath. She had never seen him look so serious.

“Was he right, Kara? About what would happen to you if we’re found out? Would you lose your job? Be demoted?”

Kara nodded. “Probably.”

Zak took a deep breath. “Then...then maybe we should think about ending this.”

Kara froze.

“What?” This couldn’t be happening to her. Not again. “What are you saying? Don’t you want me any more?”

Zak reached across the table and grabbed her hand. The warmth of his touch calmed her, made her feel she could breathe again.

“Kara, of course I want you. I love you. I don’t want to be apart from you. But I don’t want to hurt you, either. I know how much you love the fleet, love flying. If you lost that because of me...I couldn’t live with myself.”

Kara swore inwardly. She’d known he would react like this if he ever realised just how much she was risking to be with him, which was why she’d taken care never to discuss it. Damn Lee for spelling it out to him. A suspicious part of her wondered if he’d done it on purpose, hoping Zak’s guilt would make him dump her and solve the whole problem.

Well, she wasn’t going to let it happen.

“Zak, listen to me,” she said, forcing him to meet her eyes. “I don’t care. Yes, I love flying. I love the fleet. But I love you, too.” Something flared in his eyes at that. She’d never said it before when they were both fully awake and sober. “I’m happier with you than I’ve ever been, and I don’t want to give that up.”

“Maybe it would be sensible to wait for a while. Just until I graduate-”

“Yes, it probably would,” said Kara immediately, making him blink. “But I don’t want to wait.”

The corners of Zak’s mouth began to curve. “You don’t?”

“I don’t,” said Kara firmly. “I’m not sensible, you know that. I don’t believe in it.”

Zak was definitely smiling now.

“I believe in taking happiness when you find it, because otherwise it might not come again.” She meant it. If her childhood had taught her nothing else, it had taught her that. “I want to be with you, Zak, and if that means taking risks, then I’m willing to take them.”

His eyes were shining now, his love for her clear to see. “Good. Because I couldn’t bear to lose you, Kara.”

She leaned forward to kiss him. “Good. Because I don’t want to lose you either.”

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

The next day was the Solstice festival itself, the shortest day of the year.

Kara slipped out alone to the dawn service at the temple. It was the one Solstice tradition that she always kept. Even in the last few years, when she'd holed up in her room at the Academy and tried to pretend Solstice wasn’t happening, she always went to the dawn service. She found the ritual comforting, liked to think of all the people who had knelt in the temple before her and listened to the same words of prayer as the priests welcomed the return of the sun.

When she returned to the house she found the Adamas having breakfast.

“Hurry up and eat, Kara,” said Zak, kissing her cheek as she sat down next to him. “Presents are waiting.”

Carolanne laughed. “Honestly, Zak! You’re twenty, not twelve. Take as long as you like, Kara.”

Presents. Kara was a little nervous about that. She hadn’t had much experience in buying presents, and it was particularly hard for people you had only just met.

Much to her relief, Carolanne and Lee seemed pleased with their gifts.

Carolanne’s was a plant. Zak had said she liked gardening, so Kara had picked it out at the garden centre the day before. She had no idea what kind of plant it was, but she liked the shape of the leaves. Carolanne recognised it, though.

“Just what I needed for that shady spot by the gate. Thank you, Kara.”

Lee’s present was a joke she hadn’t been able to resist. She grinned widely as he unwrapped the bottle of ambrosia.

“Rumour has it you haven’t tried ambrosia before,” she said. “I thought it might be a new experience.”

Lee looked confused for a moment and then glared at Zak, who was laughing into a cushion.

“What have you been saying about me now? Kara, do me a favour and never believe anything this idiot tells you about me again. Thanks for the ambrosia, though.”

Carolanne looked a little startled when Zak opened his present from Kara.

“You bought him a gun?”

“It’s a very good gun,” said Kara, feeling defensive. “Much better than the fleet issue. He’ll find it a lot more accurate at target practice-”

Carolanne put a hand on her arm. “I wasn’t criticising, Kara. And you certainly know what you’re about.” She looked resignedly at Zak who was bent over the gun, face intent. “He loves it.”

She was much more enthusiastic over Zak’s gift to Kara, which was a pair of VIP tickets to a Panthers game.

“You’ll have to call me afterwards and tell me every single thing,” she insisted. “Every single thing.”

The odd thing was, Kara thought she actually might do it. She liked Carolanne. She was kind. She had a good sense of humour. And she was tactful – not once had she asked Kara probing questions about her family and why she wasn’t spending Solstice with them.

“Hey, there  _ are  _ two tickets,” she joked. “Maybe I’ll take you instead of him.”

She unwrapped her own presents from Carolanne and Lee curiously, wondering what they could have bought her.

Lee’s present made her laugh – a fancy triad set with a pack of cards that had views of the Twelve Colonies on the back, and coloured plastic chips.

“Now you can kick ass at triad in style,” he said with a grin.

Carolanne’s present was a block of quality drawing paper with a pack of drawing pencils.

“Zak mentioned you like to draw,” said Carolanne. “I wasn’t quite sure what you used, but I thought I couldn’t go far wrong with pencils and paper.”

“Thank you,” said Kara. Her throat felt suddenly tight. “They’re lovely.”

\----------------------------------

She thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the day. They watched a silly film while Lee cooked dinner, which turned out to be one of the best roast dinners Kara had ever eaten. She wondered if she could pay Lee to cook her Solstice dinner every year.

After dinner Zak and Carolanne did the washing up while Lee and Kara played the board game Zak had given him that morning. It was a world domination game where the winner had to conquer all the twelve colonies. Lee had taken eight of them when Kara’s phone rang.

She didn’t recognise the number. She went out into the hall, wondering uneasily who it could be.

“Hello.”

“Hello. Is that Lieutenant Kara Thrace?” She didn’t recognise the voice. It was a woman, brisk and cheerful.

“Yes.”

“Commander Fenner at the Picon Academy gave me this number to contact you. My name is Anne Renshaw, I’m ringing from the Woodvale Clinic on Tauron.”

For a moment Kara couldn’t breathe. She stared at the blue flowers on Carolanne’s wallpaper, trying to regain her balance.

“Lieutenant Thrace?” The woman’s voice crackled over the line. “Are you still there?”

Kara’s hand tightened on the phone. “I’m here.”

“Your mother asked me to call. She wants to speak to you.”

“Why? Does she want to wish me a happy Solstice?” Memories from her childhood rushed back, of her mother yelling at her for being lazy, stubbing out her cigarette on Kara's hand when she made a mess painting, giving her a black eye when she was late home and missed curfew. “You can tell her it’s a bit late for that.”

“Lieutenant, your mother has cancer. She’s very ill. She may not last very much longer.”

“I don’t care. I’m not speaking to her.”

“I can give you our number in case you change your mind-”

“I won’t,” said Kara swiftly. She didn’t need the number burning away in her pocket, eating away at her. Didn’t need the temptation. The hope that maybe this time things would be different. That her mother might have changed. “I don’t want to speak to her.” She disconnected the call before the woman could say anything else.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall, fighting back the lump in her throat.

\--------------------------------

After that, some of the shine went out of the day for Kara, although she tried not to let the others see it. She talked just as much and laughed just as hard, and if her smile had a forced quality to it, no-one seemed to notice.

When she went to sleep that evening, the nightmares came.

She woke in a panic, gasping and thrashing, struggling for air. She pushed away the imprisoning sheets and rolled to the side of the bed, wrapping her arms around herself for comfort.

She lay there shuddering for a few moments as she fought free of the last remnants of the dream. Reminded herself that she was a grown woman, an officer of the colonial fleet, not a confused and frightened little girl. Ran her palms over her fingers, reassuring herself they weren’t broken.

Thank the Lords she had decided to sleep in the spare room tonight. She had told Zak she couldn’t cope with another night of his snoring, but really she had been half expecting this to happen. She didn’t want him to see her like this.

The nightmares came rarely now. Only when something happened to trigger them, to rouse her memories.

That phone call had been one hell of a trigger.

She looked at the clock. Three am.

She knew she should try to get back to sleep, but she couldn’t quite face it. Not with the nightmares lurking, waiting to pounce.

Maybe she’d go downstairs, get a glass of water. Sit on the sofa until the knots in her stomach eased and she felt more settled. Maybe then she’d be able to sleep.

She pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants and headed downstairs. There was a faint light in the hallway through the glass in the front door, but the kitchen was dark.

Kara switched on the light and blinked.

The kitchen wasn’t empty. Lee was sitting at the kitchen table, blinking in return as his eyes adjusted to the sudden light.

“Kara?”

“Lee?” Kara was irritated; she didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. “What the hell are you doing, sitting here in the dark?”

“Thinking,” said Lee, looking slightly defensive. “What about you?”

“I just wanted a glass of water.”

“Help yourself,” said Lee, waving towards the sink. “Unless you’d like something stronger.” He picked up the glass in front of him, and Kara realised he’d opened the bottle of ambrosia she’d given him earlier.

“Actually, that doesn’t sound a bad idea.” Nothing better than a shot of fiery ambrosia to keep nightmares at bay. She got a glass out of the kitchen cabinet and sat down opposite Lee, pushing it towards him.

As he filled it she noticed that the ambrosia bottle was only half full. He’d obviously been here some time. “What’s this? Still celebrating the festival?”

Lee’s mouth twisted. “You could say that. After all, Solstice is a time for celebrating with your family, isn’t it?”

Kara really didn’t want to talk about families. She looked down at the table, and realised there was something lying next to Lee’s glass. The phone.

She looked back up at him. “You thinking of calling somebody?”

His eyes shifted away from hers. “My father.”

“Oh.” Kara was surprised. “I thought you didn’t want to have anything to do with him.”

Lee sighed and took a swig from his glass. “I don’t. But something my mum said got me thinking. And...he is my father, after all.”

“That doesn’t mean you owe him anything,” said Kara. She drained her glass and slammed it down on the table.

Lee looked at her empty glass and back at her face. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. Pour me another.”

Lee looked as if he might protest, but she fixed him with a glare and he poured her another glass.

“Dad’s ship is still docked in Picon,” he said, after a moment. “It’s morning there now. I thought I might call him. Wish him a happy Solstice.”

“You might? How long have you been sitting here thinking about it?”

“Three hours.” Lee half smiled. “I said  _ might _ .”

Kara decided to change the subject. If Lee was wavering about his father, then she might end up wavering too, and she would not. She absolutely would not.

“I haven’t had a chance to talk to you alone since the arcade,” she said. “Did Zak tell you that we’re staying together?”

Lee blinked at the sudden change in topic. “Yes, he told me.” He paused, looking at her awkwardly. “Look, Kara, I’m sorry for what I said to you that afternoon. You were right; it was none of my business, especially as far as you’re concerned.” He smiled ruefully. “The truth is I’ve got a lousy temper, and I always go too far when I lose it. Say things I don’t mean.”

“I’d noticed,” muttered Kara, remembering the scene a few days ago in the kitchen. She realised he was watching her anxiously, and made herself smile.

“Don’t worry about it, Lee. It’s fine. You were just worried about Zak.” She took a sip from her glass. “Though you might remember next time he is a grown man now. He can look after himself.”

“I know that, Kara. But it doesn’t change anything.” Lee looked resigned. “I can’t shake the habit. Somehow I think I’ll still be playing the protective older brother when he’s fifty.”

Kara had to laugh at the image that conjured up, and Lee joined her.

“So you don’t mind?” she said after a moment, more seriously. “About us?”

“No,” said Lee quietly, eyes holding hers. “Like you said, Zak’s a grown man. It’s his decision. And you’re the one taking the biggest risk. If you’re willing to do that...you must love him very much.”

Kara looked away from him, suddenly awkward. “I do.”

Silence for a moment, and then she heard Lee chuckle.

“Oh well. At least I know his flight training is in good hands.”

Kara looked back at him, grateful for the lighter tone. She put on a cocky grin.

“Good? Don’t you mean the best?”

“I’m not sure I’d go that far.” Lee returned her grin. “After all, I haven’t seen you fly a real viper yet.”

“You know, I’m really looking forward to that simulator challenge,” said Kara. “I’m going to make you eat your words.”

“You think so?” Lee smiled smugly.

Their eyes met and locked. Kara could almost feel their gazes clash, something sparking in the air between them. It made her feel uncomfortable, and she abruptly looked away, seeking refuge in her glass.

“Seriously though,” said Lee, after a moment, his voice sounding slightly strained. “How is Zak doing? With his flying?”

Kara looked up. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

Kara took a deep breath. “Not great.”

Lee leaned back in his chair. “I was afraid so.”

“He’s not hopeless,” Kara defended, suddenly feeling guilty. “He works hard, he understands the mechanics of it. He just...flying just doesn’t come naturally to him. He has to work at it.”

Lee sighed. “I didn’t want him to apply for viper training, did he tell you that?”

“Yes. He’s determined to prove you wrong.”

“I know. I should have kept my mouth shut.”

“Why were you against it?” Kara didn’t understand. “Sure, Zak’s not a natural pilot, but he’ll get there. He’ll never be a great pilot, but he’ll be a perfectly adequate one.”

“I’m sure he will.” Lee drained his glass, mouth twisting. “But is that what he really wants? To be an adequate viper pilot when he could have been a great something else? Will it make him happy?”

Kara was silenced. She’d never really thought about that. She’d thought that naturally being a pilot would make Zak happy. How could anyone be unhappy if they were flying?

“I just wanted him to join a different part of the fleet,” Lee was saying. “Become a marine, perhaps. A sniper. Something that suited his talents. Because I’m afraid he only applied for vipers to please Dad, not to please himself.”

“Maybe,” said Kara. “But then maybe pleasing your dad is what makes him happy. Is that so wrong?”

“Yes!” Lee burst out. “He should live his life for himself, not for other people.”

“Really?” Kara smiled sharply. “You know, it surprises me to hear you saying that.”

“Why?” He looked annoyed.

“Well, haven’t you done exactly the same thing? Followed in your father’s footsteps like a good little boy?”

He was glaring at her now. “I didn’t join the fleet because of him.” 

“Then why did you join?” Kara was genuinely curious. “From the way you talk about your dad, I would have thought you’d refuse to even consider it, just to piss him off.”

Lee’s face softened slightly. “Oh, I did. For years, I did. But then-”

“Then-?”

“Then I flew for the first time.”

“Oh,” breathed Kara. “Oh, I see.”

Their eyes met and Lee smiled. “I don’t have to explain it to you, do I? You know what I’m talking about.”

Kara smiled at him. A rare, genuine smile, not holding anything back. “I do.”

“It was a present from my father, of course,” said Lee. “My sixteenth birthday. I was going to reject it, refuse to go, but Mum made me.” He smiled reminiscently. “Best thing she ever did for me. It was only a ten minute trip, but from then on I was hooked. I knew all I wanted was to be a viper pilot.” He looked at her, slightly awkward. “It was like I’d found the place I belonged.”

“Me too,” said Kara. “It was after I hurt my knee. I couldn’t play pyramid any more, didn’t know what to do with myself. The husband of the physio who was helping me recover was a pilot. He offered to take me up for a flight, thought it might cheer me up. And when he did...it was just like you said. I knew that this was where I belonged, what I wanted to do. I’ve never looked back.”

They smiled at each other, and Kara suddenly felt very close to him. She’d never met anyone before who understood how she felt about flying. Not really. Oh, Zak understood it intellectually, but he didn’t  _ feel _ it. Not like Lee obviously did.

She thought later that maybe it was that sense of kinship, of fellow feeling, that brought out what she said next. Or maybe it was the ambrosia.

Either way she found the words bursting out of her mouth.

“I found out today that my mother’s dying.”

Lee’s hand froze, the glass halfway to his lips. He stared at her for a moment, and then carefully put it down.

“The phone call?”

He didn’t miss much. Kara nodded.

“It was a nurse from the clinic she’s in. She wanted to speak to me.”

“And did you?”

“No.” Kara clenched her hands around the glass. “I couldn’t.”

“And now you can’t sleep.” Lee’s voice was suddenly gentle.

“No. I can’t talk to her. I can’t.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I can’t let her near me again.”

“Then don’t.” Lee put out his hand and touched hers. Kara jumped at the contact. “Kara, why are you telling me this? Shouldn’t you be talking to Zak?”

“Zak’s not here. You are.” She couldn’t give him more of an answer than that. She stared down at his hand, warm and strong over hers. Why was she talking to him? She didn’t know. It was just...everything was always so easy for Zak, so simple. Lee was different. He understood that sometimes things were complicated. That you could hate and love someone at the same time, without it being a contradiction. That there were some things that just couldn't be easily forgotten or forgiven.

Lee was looking worried. "Kara, I...I'm not sure what to say-"

Of course he didn't know what to say. He barely knew her. She shouldn't be burdening him with her problems. Kara felt her cheeks growing red. What the hell was she thinking, babbling away to him like this? He must think she was crazy.

“You should phone your dad,” she said abruptly, pulling her hand out from under his. “Before it’s too late.”

She stood up. Lee’s eyes were wide and concerned. “Kara-”

“I’m fine,” she said brusquely. “I just need some sleep. Thanks for the ambrosia, Lee.”

He said her name again, but she ignored it, heading back upstairs. She couldn’t stay any longer.

He was a dangerous man, Lee Adama. Something about him made her feel safe, comforted. Made her relax, say things she shouldn’t.

Made her feel weak.

She wasn’t going to be weak. Never again. She’d sworn that a long time ago.

  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Lee climbed into the passenger seat of his mother’s car and yawned.

Carolanne looked over with amusement as she started the car. “Tired already? It’s only ten o’clock.”

He stifled another yawn. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

For all the good it had done him. He had finally phoned his father after Kara had left, only to get a bored port official.

“I’m sorry, Lieutenant. The Galactica left dock an hour ago.”

Too late. All those hours sitting in the kitchen, debating about whether to call, and he’d left it too late.

Perhaps it was a sign. He didn’t know what the hell he would have said to his father anyway.

Carolanne pulled up at the garden centre, and for the next hour Lee trailed dutifully around after her, pulling a flatbed and hefting trees and shrubs onto it when required. He tried to keep his mind off his dad by thinking about Kara instead.

He hoped she was all right. She’d looked tired and pale at breakfast, although she talked and joked just as much as usual. Zak hadn’t seemed to notice anything wrong, so maybe she was okay.

He hoped he hadn’t made too much of a mess of things last night. He just hadn’t known what to say when she’d talked about her mother. It was obviously deeply upsetting for her, and he just didn’t know her well enough to know what to say or do to help. He’d done his best, but it obviously hadn’t been good enough, judging by the way she’d suddenly pulled back and all but bolted out of the kitchen.

He wondered if she would talk to Zak about it today, let him help her. He hoped so, but somehow he doubted it. He got the impression that that her sudden confession last night had been uncharacteristic. Kara Thrace seemed to be the kind of person who liked to deal with her problems alone.

Much like himself, in fact. Perhaps that was why he felt that she had become a friend. It felt odd, to think that he had known her for barely a week. It seemed much longer than that.

Almost as odd was the realisation that he was going to miss her. He’d enjoyed her company, enjoyed competing with her and teasing her. He wished he’d had a friend like her when he was at the Academy.

Carolanne finally finished her tour of the garden centre, and they set off home. Lee unloaded all her purchases without complaint, but when she started talking about lights that needed fixing and tiles that needed replacing, he rebelled.

“I’ll get Zak to help you with that.”

He’d done his bit at the garden centre. He would be flying back to Aerilon tomorrow, and he wasn’t going to spend the whole of his last day of freedom doing chores.

He found Zak and Kara in the garden, playing pyramid. Mum had never moved the wooden posts he and Zak had always used as makeshift goals. Lee was pleased to see Kara was grinning widely and her eyes were shining, all trace of distress gone. She must be feeling better.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said, “but Mum needs your presence, Zak.”

Zak stopped tussling for the ball and looked at Lee suspiciously. “What for?”

“Something about a broken tile...and a light that needs fixing-”

Zak pulled a face. “Can’t you-?”

“No, I can’t. I’ve just done my duty at the garden centre. It’s your turn.”

Zak groaned, but he headed off without further argument.

“It won’t take that long,” Lee called after him. “She can’t have had too many things go wrong since I was here three months ago.”

He turned back to Kara, who was tossing the pyramid ball from one hand to the other and keeping her eyes fixed on it. He realised suddenly that she was probably embarrassed about the previous night.

Well, he wasn’t going to bring it up unless she did.

“Who was winning?” he asked, keeping his voice as casual as possible.

“I think I was.” She looked up and smiled tentatively. “Though Zak seemed to dispute that.”

He smiled carefully back. “But then Zak always cheats.”

“He does.” Her smile strengthened. “Why is that?”

“Only way he could beat me,” said Lee, and smirked. He had a feeling that nothing would push Kara out of her self-consciousness like a challenge.

He was right; she grinned and tossed the ball at him. “You want a game?”

Lee caught it smoothly. “If you insist.”

\----------------------------------

He didn’t expect to win. She had been going to play pyramid professionally, after all. Still, that didn’t mean he had to let her have it all her own way. After she had scored ten points in as many minutes and he hadn’t even got near the goal, he simply tripped her up, stole the ball, and knocked it against the post before she’d struggled back to her feet.

“Lee Adama!” She was bristling with indignation. “That was cheating!”

He grinned unrepentantly. “Who do you think Zak learned to cheat  _ from _ ?”

She stared at him, her eyes suddenly predatory. “Well, if you want to forget the rules-”

Lee had a feeling he was going to regret this. But at least she seemed to be her normal aggressive self again.

With no holds barred, the game rapidly deteriorated into a brawl, as they each tried every dirty trick they knew to grab the ball off the other. 

Lee finally managed get to get the ball away from her by elbowing her in the ribs. He headed for the post, leaving her swearing breathlessly behind him.

“You frakking bastard! That hurt.”

No worse than what you’ve done to me, Lee thought. His knee was still aching from where she had kicked him a few minutes before.

“Too late, Kara,” he taunted as he reached the post. “You can’t stop me now.”

A yell of outrage came from behind him. He turned, grinning, ready to knock the ball against the post, and saw Kara charging towards him at full speed, eyes narrowed.

He took an inadvertent step backwards, stumbled, and lost his balance as she ploughed into him, knocking him over.

Lee reeled from the double impact of the ground beneath him and Kara falling heavily on top of him. Black spots danced before his eyes and he gasped for breath as all the air rushed out of his lungs.

When everything came back into focus the first thing he was aware of was Kara laughing.

He looked up to see her face hovering over his own, hazel eyes dancing wickedly.

“No points for you, Lee.”

He glared at her. “You,” he said sternly, “are utterly insane.”

She laughed even harder. “Whatever, Lee. You still didn’t score.”

Her eyes met his, and Lee found his frown slipping away despite his best attempts to hold on to it.

“Go on, Lee. Laugh. You know you want to.”

“I don’t,” he said, trying to keep his mouth in a straight line.

“Yes, you do.” She leaned closer, eyes staring into his. A strand of her hair slipped from behind her ear and started tickling his cheek.

“No, I don’t,” he said, staring up at her laughing face, at those bright hazel eyes. Suddenly he was finding it difficult to breathe again.

“Yes, you do.” She leaned even closer. Their noses were almost touching now. Lee was abruptly aware of how closely she was pressed against him.

“Kara.” His eyes locked with hers. The laughter had died out of them, and she was looking at him with an expression he couldn’t interpret. She bit her lip. “Kara, I-”

“Kara!”

Zak’s voice shattered the air around them. Lee jerked his eyes away from Kara’s, blinking.

“Kara, I hope you haven’t killed him,” Zak called, laughing as he walked towards them. “Mum won’t be pleased.”

Kara rolled off Lee, and took Zak’s offered hand to pull herself to her feet. “Don’t worry. I just winded him, that’s all.”

Lee nodded as he slowly sat up, using the excuse not to speak. His brain was reeling. What the hell had just happened? For a moment there he had thought...he wasn’t sure what he had thought.

Glancing down, he was all too aware of what his body had thought. He hurriedly drew his legs towards him, resting his chin on his knees.

Kara shot him a quick glance. “I need a hot drink after all that exercise,” she said casually. “Come on, Zak, let’s make some coffee. You want one, Lee?”

Lee looked up at her. Her voice was casual, but her eyes looked as shaken as he felt.

“I do, thanks. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Kara nodded and firmly towed Zak towards the house.

Lee sat utterly still for a moment, as his breathing settled and his body calmed.

It’s a natural reaction, that’s all, he told himself. After all, she was right on top of me. I couldn’t help but react – she’s an attractive woman. It’s only natural. Nothing more than that.

Still, he didn’t think Zak would appreciate him having natural reactions to his girlfriend. He’d better keep a prudent distance from Kara in future. No more wrestling on the lawn.

Perhaps it was just as well they were all going home tomorrow.

  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

_ Three months later _

Kara pushed open her office door, balancing a stack of files under one arm and a cup of coffee in the other. She took a few cautious steps towards her desk, spilling a few drops of coffee on her hand. She swore as she put the coffee safely down, adding the files to the pile that almost covered her desk.

Gods, how she hated paperwork. Evaluations, assignments, reports, profiles – why couldn’t she just teach the damn cadets to fly without having to fill in six thousand papers to prove it?

Still, at least there was only a week of term left. Two blessed weeks of freedom stretched out temptingly before her. Zak was already making plans. A few days walking in the Caprican mountains, he’d suggested. Kara had never been there. And they could stop in at his mother’s on the way back.

Kara had found herself agreeing without protest. Visiting his mother at Solstice hadn’t been half as bad as she had feared. She had even kept her promise and called Carolanne to tell her all about the VIP trip to the Panthers game. When she put the phone down, she saw to her amazement that she’d been chatting for an hour. She was quite relaxed at the prospect of visiting her again.

Lee might be there too. Kara had been surprised how much she’d missed him these last couple of months. Particularly when she’d only known him for a week.

It was just little things, really. She’d hear jokes that would amuse him, and wish he was there to tell them to. Or she’d be beating everyone at triad and wish he was there to give her a proper challenge. Or she’d be loading a new programme into the simulators and wish he was there to test it out with her.

It would be good to see him again. He was a nice guy. She’d been afraid he would pass on what she’d said to him about her mother to Zak, but he hadn’t said a word. Made it clear to her that he wouldn’t bring up the subject again unless she wanted him to.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at her office door.

“Come in!” she yelled, seizing at the distraction from her paperwork.

One of her fellow instructors popped his head around the door. “Hey, Starbuck. You’ve got a visitor.”

“Show them in.”

His head disappeared, and Kara got to her feet. The door swung wide and her mouth opened with surprise as a familiar figure walked into the room.

“Lee!”

“Hi, Kara.” He looked slightly awkward. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” said Kara. She felt a huge grin spreading across her face. “Lee, what the hell are you doing here? Zak didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“He didn’t know.” Lee smiled slowly. “Well, even I didn’t know until I was already on my way. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to swing the leave pass. There wasn’t time to call...not that Zak’s ever easy to get hold of, anyway.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Ain’t that the truth. So how long have you got?” She waved him to a chair.

Lee sat down gratefully. “Long weekend. I have to fly back Sunday night.”

“Have you seen Zak?” Kara still couldn’t believe he was really here.

“Not yet. The woman in the admin office said he was in a class. So I thought I’d look you up instead.”

“I’m touched,” said Kara teasingly, putting a hand over her heart.

Lee flushed slightly. “Well, I also thought... it might help, while I’m staying. If people think we’re friends, they won’t think it odd if you spend time with me and Zak.”

Kara stared at him for a moment, mouth open. “You know, that’s really quite clever of you, Lee. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Lee sent her a sarcastic glance. “What can I say? I have hidden depths.”

He certainly did, Kara thought. She wouldn’t have expected him to be so considerate.

“So it sounds as if Zak is in class all afternoon,” said Lee, leaning back in his chair and stretching his arms. “Do you mind keeping me company until then?”

“Not at all.”

He looked uncertainly at the papers on her desk. “I can always go and wait in the mess hall. I don’t want to keep you from your work-”

Kara let out a groan. “Please, Lee, keep me from my work.”

Lee laughed. His shoulders relaxed and his face cleared. “That bad, is it?”

“You have no idea,” said Kara fervently.

“Very well, let me distract you,” said Lee. “What do you want to do? Grab a coffee?”

“Well, we could,” said Kara slowly. An idea was stirring in her brain. “Or-”

“Or what?” said Lee. He was looking at her warily.

“Or you could finally take me up on that simulator challenge.” Kara smiled at him, eyes sparking. “I think there are some free this afternoon.”

She was pleased to see a matching spark kindle in Lee’s eyes. “You’re on.”

Kara grinned, a surge of anticipation running through her. “Then what are we waiting for?”

She really had missed him.

\---------------------------

There were indeed two free simulators. Kara stripped off her jacket and started programming the machine.

“What are we going for?” asked Lee, coming to stand by her shoulder. “Time trial? Highest Cylon kill?”

Kara turned to look at him, smiling challengingly. “No. One-to-one combat. Winner takes the other one out.”

Lee grinned, an answering challenge in his blue eyes. “You don’t pull your punches, do you, Kara? I’d forgotten that.”

“And I always play to win,” she said. “Don’t forget  _ that _ .”

Lee laughed. “Never.”

Kara settled herself into the simulator chair and closed the door, heart thumping in anticipation. She’d played this scenario dozens of times and it had never lasted long. No-one had ever gone against her for longer than five minutes before she took them out.

She had a feeling that was about to change.

\----------------------------

It did.

Lee lived up to all the skill he had shown in that arcade game. He circled and dived around her, keeping just out of her reach, skipping nimbly out of every trap she set for him. When she pulled difficult manoeuvres to scare him or force him to crash, he managed to follow her through them.

When she finally caught a breathing space to glance at the timer, she saw that they had been at it for ten minutes.

Finally, finally she’d found someone to challenge her, to keep pace with her. Gods, she wished they’d met at flight school.

He fired a shot that nearly took out the nose of her viper. She twisted away just in time, cursing. She couldn’t allow herself to be distracted. Time to raise her game.

She pulled away from him in a classic textbook manoeuvre, one that would allow her to circle around him and catch him from behind.

She knew he’d recognise it, wouldn’t fall for it. Knew he’d turn round, ready to face her. So halfway through the turn she flipped her viper, muscles screaming at the force required for a 180 degree turn at that angle. Headed right back to where she had been, guns ready to hit his blind spot.

Except it wasn’t his blind spot. He hadn’t turned. He’d stayed right where he was, waiting for her.

She was heading right into his line of fire. And she couldn’t stop, not at this speed and angle.

_ Frak it. _ She pressed the buttons and fired, full power, just as he did the same.

Game over.

Her viper was blown apart, but so was his.

Dead heat. It seemed fitting somehow.

She unfastened the seat straps, and pushed open the door of the simulator, blinking in the sunlight. The adrenalin was surging through her and she couldn’t stop grinning.

She reached Lee’s simulator as he stepped out of the door, grinning just as widely as she was.

“Kara, Kara,” he said, shaking his head. “Did you really think I’d fall for that old trick?”

She shrugged. “Plenty of people have.”

“Ah, but I’ve seen enough of you to be wary. Nothing is ever as it seems with you. So when I see you pulling a stunt as obvious as that-”

She smiled smugly, leaning towards him. “Hey, I still blew you up.”

“Don’t forget I blew you up too.” His eyes were smiling directly into hers. Kara vaguely wondered if they had always been such a vivid blue; she'd never noticed before. It was nice that they were much of a height and she didn’t have to stare up at him...

She shook herself mentally. “Want to try it again?” she asked, and found she was still staring at him.

“Hell, yes,” he said, eyes never leaving hers.

Kara’s breath caught in her throat. Suddenly she was catapulted back to his mother’s garden three months ago, lying on top of him and staring at him just like this, feeling her heart thump and the world fade away just like this…

She knew she should step back, pull her eyes away, but she couldn’t. Couldn’t do anything but stand there, staring at him, feeling his warm breath against her skin as he moved closer, closer, until every nerve in her body was screaming with the need to touch him.

His lips brushed hers just as the outside door flew open with a bang.

The spell shattered.

Kara and Lee jumped apart as if they had been burnt.

One of the cadets stood in the doorway, looking embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise there was anyone in here-”

“It’s all right,” said Kara. “We were just leaving.” She grabbed her jacket, and blindly headed for the door, keeping her eyes well away from Lee.

Dear Lords, what had she nearly done?

_ He was Zak’s brother. _

She couldn’t breathe. She needed some air.

Her mother had always said that if there was a way to screw something up, she would find it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Kara almost ran out of the simulator room. She stopped on the landing by the top of the stairs, leaning heavily on the railing and taking frantic breaths.

After a few moments she heard the doors of the simulator room open and close behind her and then footsteps walking over to stand beside her. She didn’t have to look to know who it was.

“We’re never going to do that again, are we.”

It wasn’t a question and Kara didn’t answer it. She continued to stare at the opposite wall, keeping her eyes firmly turned away from him.

After a moment she heard Lee sigh.

“I’d better go. I’ve got...things to do.” A pause. “I’ll see you later, right?”

“Right.” Kara still couldn’t look at him.

She heard him take a quick breath, as if he was going to say something else, but he didn’t. Instead she heard him walk away, feet thudding as he went down the steps.

She turned to look at him then. Watched him walk away with that brisk, efficient stride, head held stubbornly high.

For a moment, she let herself wish.

Wish that she had met Lee Adama anywhere else. At Fleet Academy. In a bar or a club. Running through the park.

Wish that he had been someone else. Anyone except Zak’s older brother.

Wish that she had met him first.

Only for a moment, and then she closed her eyes and broke the spell. Because it hadn’t happened that way. She had Zak. She loved Zak, and he loved her. For the first time in her life she was happy.

She wasn’t going to throw all that away. Not for this weird connection – attraction – whatever the hell it was that she felt for his brother.

It wouldn’t work out anyway. She couldn’t see Lee cheerfully tolerating her moods and her quirks the way Zak did. Lee wasn’t tolerant. He challenged. He criticised. He pushed. He’d try to change her, and that was never going to happen. It would all fall apart, and they’d end up hating each other.

She couldn’t bear the thought of him hating her.

So she’d never mention this again. Pretend it had never happened. They’d just go back to being friends.

Nothing more.

\-------------------------

Lee headed off campus, to avoid bumping into anyone he might know. He ducked into a bar, ordered a beer and took a seat in front of the TV screen so no-one would try to talk to him.

What the hell had just happened, he thought, taking a large gulp of his beer. He’d nearly kissed his brother’s girlfriend. Frak, he  _ would _ have kissed her if that cadet hadn’t interrupted them.

He felt sick. How could he have done that? How could he have betrayed Zak like that?

It was his own fault. He should have seen this coming. He’d known he was attracted to Kara ever since that moment playing pyramid back at Solstice, but he’d buried the knowledge deep, tried to ignore it.

He couldn’t do that any longer.

He took a deep breath and made himself acknowledge the truth. He was attracted to Kara, and it wasn’t just physical. He enjoyed spending time with her, liked competing with her and teasing her and arguing with her. He felt comfortable with her, felt he could relax his guard and just be himself. That didn’t happen to him very often.

If she was anyone else he would be doing his best to catch her interest, whether she had a boyfriend or not.

But she wasn’t anyone else. She was Zak’s girlfriend, and that put her off limits. He could never hurt Zak like that. Not the little brother he had always looked out for.

He wanted Zak to be happy, and if Kara made him happy, then that was that. It didn’t matter how he himself felt.

So he’d do his best to forget about these inconvenient feelings for Kara. He was sure they’d fade with a bit of time and distance. He’d go back to Aerilon, be too busy to visit Zak for a while. Maybe he’d start seeing more of Gianne. He really did like her, and it would help to get Kara out of his head.

It might be all for the best, anyway. He wasn’t sure he and Kara would work out even if it was possible. He liked to keep his relationships easy and simple, and she was anything but. There was a lot going on inside her that she kept tightly locked away, and he wasn't sure he had the nerve or the determination to force his way in. She was as stubborn and awkward as he was in some ways. They’d probably just spend all their time arguing until everything fell apart.

Being just friends was probably safer and better, even if Zak hadn’t been a factor.

\-------------------------

Despite all his sensible resolutions, Lee was still relieved when Zak arrived to meet him that evening without Kara. She had last-minute reports to write, Zak said.

Lee didn’t believe it for one minute, but he thanked her silently. He wasn’t sure he was ready yet to sit there all evening making conversation with both of them as if nothing had happened.

But then nothing  _ had _ happened, he reminded himself fiercely, as he listened to Zak’s latest stories. Nothing had and nothing ever would, he vowed again, watching his brother’s laughing face.

So when he opened the door of his room the next morning to find Kara outside, he was dismayed and wary.

It must have shown on his face, because her shoulders tensed immediately.

“I’ve got a message from Zak,” she said curtly. “He asked me to tell you he can’t meet you for lunch, he’s got an extra class.”

“Oh. Okay.” Lee searched for something else to say. His mind had gone suddenly blank. “Thanks for telling me.”

He expected her to nod and leave, but instead she stood there for a moment, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other. Finally her face set with determination and her chin lifted.

“You could have lunch with me instead.”

“What?”

Kara flushed slightly. “If you like. I mean...even though I’m Zak’s girlfriend, we can still be friends. Can’t we?”

Could they? Lee hoped they could. It would make things very awkward with Zak otherwise. And it would also mean he wouldn’t lose her entirely.

Why not?

“Yes, we can,” he said finally, and held out his hand to her. “Friends?”

She took his hand and shook it. “Friends.”

Their eyes met in mutual understanding. Lee realised she knew as well as he did exactly what was meant by that little agreement. What they were firmly closing the door on and ignoring. That they were drawing a line and silently vowing never to cross it again.

They’d just never admit it aloud.

\----------------------------------------------------

They stepped outside into some rare spring sunshine, and Kara smiled. For a moment, she felt content.

Life didn’t get much better than this. Sunshine, the prospect of a good meal, an afternoon of flying to look forward to...and Lee Adama, all to herself. 

Just for a little while.

**The End**


End file.
